Greener Pastures

Some people would call me lucky. I have a job that I get to leave when I clock out (and yes, I do actually clock in and out). My job is fast-paced but not inherently stressful, I walk away with cash in my hand at the end of a shift and I get free food. However, I often look at my situation and realise that I live below the poverty line, I have no form of medical insurance and my hours are incredibly uncertain. I could work 50 hours in a week or 15, and the cash at the end of the night could barely be enough to cover my taxi home.

Last night a man tipped me $15 on a $32 bill when I ran it to him. He was a lonely (albeit slimy) businessman, and when he asked me what my plans for the night were I refrained from snapping that I was a waitress and not a callgirl and instead politely told him that I had plans with my boyfriend. Note: there is no boyfriend.

It's a good life if you don't weaken.

Other friends of mine have settled nicely. We're at that age where marriage and planned babies aren't that far off, and talk of retirement funds and health benefits begin to edge in along with bands we like, bars we frequent and who was just eliminated from America's Next Top Model. This isn't a big city; we like the simple life more than we care to admit. Picket fences, yellow labs...

Those who call me lucky are those who haven't yet had the chance to swim in the Aegean Sea, trip along Pompeii's ruins, drink Bewley's by the river Liffey or had an affair with a French Julian Casablancas lookalike worth of Harlequin. I've done all these things and more... but I still look at my insured, salaried friends with a detectable amount of envy. Imagine being able to make it a Blockbuster night instead of slinging on heels and traipsing out on yet another blind date, or not really sweating another cavity because you won't be paying for it out of your pocket, or knowing that you can make plans at least a week in advance because your hours are set for you.

Am I too young to want this? Or are they too old to do what I've done? Is age a number, a state of mind or an amount in the bank?