Would you dress as a mascot for $20 an hour?
The government of Canada called to ask me this. It woke me up at 11:30 on a Wednesday and brought my sad existence sharply into focus. Not only was I still in my underwear at noon, mid-workweek, but I was debating dressing as a GIANT MAPLE LEAF for the princely sum of $18/hour. Five years of university and I am qualified to say “Hello, bonjour” dressed as our favourite perennial. My life felt like it hit a new low. I went back to sleep.
In a desperate plea for cash I applied to several temp jobs, one of which involved greeting tourists over Canada Day. My days of late night partying have been replaced with uniform golf shirts and bilingual greetings. And yes, I may have to wear a mascot suit, although I told them I would rather not, at all costs.
It felt a little like rock bottom. Even my sixteen-year-old sister gets to wear cute clothes when she scoops ice cream. What did I do wrong to end up with a job that puts me at risk of being attacked by drunken mobs and frightened kids?
Note: I can honestly say I was too mortified to post this before it happened, in case people read it and saw me and I was never able to go out in public again. People don't forget things like mascot appearances. Thankfully, this did not happen. I showed up for my first day of work and was too hungover to stand, let alone dance for children in a giant heat box. Someone took pity on me, maybe they were scared by the bloodshot eyes. I avoided mascot duty all weekend. Anyway, I kept my dignity, to an extent. I will totally re-tell this story when I have a career and the threat of having to dress as a mascot to pay the bills isn't so ominous. That'll happen, right?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment